The Science Delusion

When Facts Wear Lipstick and Sell You a Dream

Once upon a time, science was slow, careful, and humble. It sat quietly with its spectacles on, testing, tinkering, and waiting patiently for the truth to show itself. These days, science’s cousin—let’s call her Opinion Science—has gotten herself all gussied up and gone to work in marketing.

If you say, “A study shows…” or “Scientists say…” people stop thinking and start nodding. We’ve been trained to worship lab coats like vestments, and academic acronyms like scripture. But much of what parades as “science” today is storytelling in a white coat—designed to sell you a product, a vote, or a worldview.

Real science asks questions. Spin science already knows the answer—and it always sounds suspiciously like what someone’s selling.
Behavioral science, social science, climate science, food science—these often rely on feelings, guesses, and interviews with people who are scared to tell the truth. And yet, we treat these “studies” like commandments etched in stone.

The result? We’ve traded our instincts for experts. Traded discernment for credentials. And we’ve confused “being informed” with simply being manipulated in fancier fonts.

Science is a tool—not a savior. It can build bridges and mend bones, but it cannot tell you why you cry in the shower or how to forgive your father.

And when we let science pretend to be philosophy, morality, or meaning—we don’t just lose our wonder. We lose our will.

So ask questions. Trust your gut. And remember: the truth doesn’t always come in a lab report. Sometimes it comes from your grandmother, your conscience, or a good hard look at the sky.

Retail Asset Protection - Bless This Crazy Mess

 Once upon a time—many jeans ago—I was a Loss Prevention Detective at Bloomingdale’s. Yep, me. Tucked upstairs behind a wall of monitors, sipping lukewarm coffee and eyeing folks like I was born with X-ray vision. And while most jobs blur together over the years, that one still shines like a rhinestone in a box of bolts.

Now, I worked with a whole team, but Dave? Dave was my people. The kind of guy who didn’t just show up—he showed up. Took me seriously, too, right from the start. Probably because on day one, while he was easing into his shift with a newspaper and a donut, I pointed at a screen and said, “Uh, Dave? I think that guy just stole some jeans.”

Dave looked up slow, the way men do when they’re hoping you’re just being dramatic. But then he saw it. “Holy sh*t,” he muttered, tossing the paper and calling in backup. Next thing I knew, he was sprinting through the parking lot like it was the Boston Marathon—rules be damned. (We weren’t supposed to step off the curb, but rules used to be more... suggestions.) One police car clipped a median and popped a tire. But hey—we got the guy.

That moment sealed our partnership. We worked like a charm after that. Trusted each other. Laughed a lot. Not bad for retail surveillance.

But like all good things in retail, the job dissolved—people left for the police academy, the military, or in my case, a sales job that paid double and didn’t require chasing denim thieves through snowbanks.

Years passed. Titles changed. But that job? That was fun. Right up there with being a paramedic, only with fewer bodily fluids.

Flash forward to 2018. I went back into LP, this time at Target. Thought I’d be slipping back into the rhythm like a favorite pair of jeans. Turns out, the jeans had holes. Big ones.

Target had gone corporate. Real corporate. My store was in "makeover mode," but the real horror show wasn’t the new fixtures—it was the creepy men creeping on customers (sorry, guests), and the leadership that wanted it all kept hush-hush. Nothing to see here, folks! Just a woman being followed in aisle 3.

Then came Tom, my new Asset Protection Manager. He had the warmth of a dead fish and the enthusiasm of a soggy cardboard box. Told me I cared too much and maybe I should be more like Craig and Sam. (Both men. Both mediocre. But apparently “diverse” was code for “not you.”)

I asked to transfer. He said no. I said bye.

Macy’s was next. Plain clothes this time—finally, back to the glory of blending in. The tech was fancy (TrueVue towers that scanned your purchases like something out of Minority Report), but the department was a mess. Manager wore five hats, had time for none, and training was thinner than gas station grits.

Still, there were moments. The team would come alive during a case and, for a hot second, it felt like old times. But when we weren’t chasing bad guys, we were mostly chasing our tails—unclear policies, no leadership, and the kind of drama that makes reality TV look tame.

I used to say that if I won the lottery, I’d do this job for free. But now, I’d rather take my winnings and run. Not because of the thieves—but because corporate stopped caring. The criminals have more rights than the folks trying to stop them.

Still, if you’ve got a sixth sense for shifty eyes and you like solving puzzles that involve purses with false bottoms, give it a shot. You might find your niche. Investigations. Internals. Audits. Or like me—just watching and noticing what no one else does.

It’s not glamorous. It’s not grateful. But if you land on a solid team and keep your sense of humor close, you’ll find a kind of weird joy in catching the bad guy and drinking bad coffee under bad lighting. And honey, that’s not nothing.

Sorry Bob !

 

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My dad, Bob, died way too young—just 50 years old—after being diagnosed with ALS at 48. That kind of grief hits you like a freight train you didn’t see coming. But what hit me harder, years later, was realizing just how much sense he actually made.

He tried his best to pass on values and a backbone. But bless his heart, he didn’t realize the sheer force of culture that would come for me. See, he was a product of the 1940s and ‘50s—where folks said “yes ma’am,” and looked their neighbors in the eye. I came of age in the whiplash world of the ‘70s and ‘80s, where Madonna was preaching “Express Yourself,” and Cosmopolitan was basically a handbook on how to ignore your instincts in favor of being “liberated.”

Truth be told, I wish I’d listened more to Dad more and less to pop culture’s parade of bad advice dressed in sequins and lip gloss. Virtue got marketed as old-fashioned. And having no morals? That got sold as freedom. Y’all—that was a lie. A polished, pretty, wildly profitable lie.

If I had a time machine and a second chance at those formative years, I’d turn down the volume on the world and lean in to Dad's voice. He was trying to teach me something sacred. And Lord knows, I finally get it.

As for my website name? I picked SorryBob.com in honor of my dad. The name Bob is plain, simple, and as old as white on rice.  And sorry, Bob—but this girl had to fall on her face a few times before she stood up with a clear head and a clear heart. I think Dad would be relieved to see that I finally see what he meant.

Because here’s the thing:
We are all worthy of happiness.
But real happiness isn’t handed to us.
It’s earned through freedom.
And freedom? That starts with courage.
And courage? It shows up when you finally start believing in yourself.
That’s the real circle of life, y’all.

These days, we’ve got wolves in self-help clothing. Exploiters selling “empowerment” while robbing us blind of our dignity. They don’t want us free—they want us frazzled, dependent, divided, and distracted.

My daddy believed in community—not disunity. He didn’t live long enough to see the internet, but I believe—if we use it right—it can be the most powerful tool for good since the printing press. It can unite people who care. People who dare. People who see what’s going on.

And I believe we’re those people.

So, here are Eight Things I’ve Learned (Usually the Hard Way):

1. Apathy limits opportunity; awareness and action limit the opportunists.

2. Knowledge is power—but only if you use it.

3. Actions speak louder than posts (and words).

4. Keep it simple, unless you're trying to confuse and control people—then by all means, complicate it to death.

5. Chase dogs (the four pawed and loyal kind) and dreams, not people. 

6. The only free cheese is in a mousetrap.

7. You teach people how to treat you.

8. Choose happiness—not helplessness.

And to the Happiness Hijackers out there? We see you. And we’re coming with grace, grit, and good boots.