Shark Week Reminds Me Of Married Men and Social Media

Brody: Now this shark that... that... that swims alone...

Hooper: Rogue.
Brody: What's it called?
Hooper, Brody: [together] Rogue.
Brody: Rogue, yeah. Now this guy, he... he keeps swimmin' around in a place where the feeding is good until the food supply is gone, right?
Hooper: It's called "territoriality". It's just a theory that I happen to... agree with.

The thing about social media meetups - it only takes one shark to ruin the water.

Most guys that attend the meetups are there for 1 of 3 things: Networking. Free Food. Or both.

I've attended a few social meetups - at 1 meetup I reconnected with an old boss and friend. The other meetups I met new friends, and discovered that there are sharks swimming in the social media ocean..

These sharks are married. Married? Yes, Married (cue Long Duck Dong from 16 Candles)!

Married sharks don't care if you are married, engaged, or happily involved. They don't care that they have a wife. Cleavage to a married shark is like blood to a real shark. Size doesn't matter; apples, melons, or plums - the only thing a married shark cares about is that you have cleavage, which qualifies you as his prey.

You might not realize you've encountered a shark until after you leave and then you receive a Direct Message on Twitter: "I'm working by the pool today, why don't you join me." That, my friends, is a full on out, SHARK ATTACK.

Not to fear ladies, the majority of men swimming in social media circles are gentlemen - married and single.

And, as Hooper from Jaws suggested: The married shark will continue to feed until the feeding supply has dried up. So if you spot a shark, the best thing to do...sound the alarm to the other women in the water. Sooner or later, he'll get the message and move on to a new ocean - or better yet, go home to his wife.