Sorry. Cops did NOT sign up for being made the villains by media because creating chaos is what they do best: The media turn a surface wound into an amputated limb when it fits their agenda; because if it bleeds, it leads!
Cops did NOT sign up for being found guilty within hours of taking action that may or may not be questionable, or having poop thrown at them or having their squad cars used as toilets.
Cops did not sign up for any of that.
That being said - I've heard from many women who are married to cops and while they understood much of what the road ahead meant, they've admitted there were many surprises along the way. It's not that they are complaining, it's just that they are saying it's way more complicated than it appears.
Before you marry that cop…
What no one will tell you is that you will never sleep well again.
Day shift he gets up at 4:30 am. Night shift he arrives home at 7:00 am.
And God forbid a neighbor mows his lawn at 10:00 in the morning while he’s sleeping. When he’s off during his night-shift rotation, he can’t sleep at night and struggles to stay awake during the day.
His back will hurt because he carries at least twenty-pound of weight on his belt and sits uncomfortably in a car – climbing in, climbing out.
Advise your family to buy stock in Advil. He will eat it. Like candy.
You will want to complain about normal things: the dogs tracked dirt in the house, the dishwasher has a leak, your kids won’t do their chores.
The husband who’s been beaten by the job will hear you, but won’t really listen. Because he spends the majority of the time listening to other peoples’ problems. He’ll think, “You have no idea how lucky you have it.” If you’re really fortunate, he won’t say it, but that’s what he’ll think.
The husband who has been beaten by the job will become a ‘chopper’ – a person who chops down everyone and everything. No situation or person is off limits. Becoming hard is part of the job. If they didn’t see the laughter in everything they wouldn't be able to handle anything.
Before you marry that cop…
Realize that your husband will be judged by the actions of his co-workers. Though cops are a protective arm of government, they are the part of government people see every day. They are easy to identify and they are easy targets for people who make a living breeding hate. You will not only have to worry about your husband’s safety, but if someone from his department makes a questionable decision, you will have to worry about the safety of yourself, your parents, and your children. This type of situation doesn’t happen often, but when and if it does, think about how you will handle it.
If you marry a cop and he is killed in the line of duty – will you be able to fight to keep his name from being tarnished and fight for justice like Maureen Faulkner has for over 25 years?
If you marry a cop, remember that you agreed to be part of the Blue Family – but also remember that you did not give your children that choice. They will be scrutinized, judged, and held to a higher standard. They will worry about his safety. Day shift. Night shift. They will worry when their parents fight about over-time versus family-time.
Before you marry a cop…realize that 90% of the time, it’s not only the media and professional protesters that beat down your husband, it’s also the Chief, the administration, and the city council – who are judged by the money they save so they save it by cutting back on cop salaries, benefits, radios, training and computers.
Before you marry a cop, consider my advice. It will seldom be easy, it is seldom nice. Before you say I do, don’t think once, think twice! - Anon
