The only thing I take seriously is my Freedom. And Bacon.

Monday, December 26, 2011

Funny Flathead Beacon Police Reports! #4 - Holiday Edition.

From the Flat Head Beacon - the "best" of the police blotter - and seriously, this one has got to be the best of them all: 12/20/2011: 9:18 a.m.
A Polebridge man reported that a contractor he had hired thumped a tool in his hand then got this look in his eye, like he’d seen “on television dramas before someone is about to hurt the other person.” The man suggested that deputies run a “mental packet” on the contractor, “rattle his cage” and put a spotlight on him.


5:38 p.m. A man on Anderson Lane reported that he found three stray horses and two miniature donkeys. He successfully herded them into his pasture.

8:45 p.m. Deputies responded to an incident in a pink trailer involving an excitable mother and daughter. The two were separated after mutually accusing one another of abuse. There was no evidence that anyone was actually abused.

10:01 p.m. The mom from the pink trailer called from her bathroom to report that her daughter was cursing at her and following her around the trailer.


12:45 p.m. A tenant at a trailer park on Whitefish Stage reportedly saw another tenant steal wood from his neighbor. The accused tenant did not confess, but did offer to give his wood to the neighbor if it would make things right.

3:14 p.m. A woman on First Street West reported that a young, machete-carrying man in a pinstriped jacked beat up her boyfriend.

4:33 p.m. A disgruntled man on North Springwood Road said a young boy ran in front of his vehicle then flipped him off. The man tried to track down the kid but was unsuccessful. 

5:33 p.m. A wolf, or possibly a dog, was seen hanging out at a business in Whitefish.


3:37 p.m. An employee at the Dollar Tree reported that someone repeatedly grabbed a drill off the shelf and attempted to return it for cash at the front counter. (wow, I didn't realize they sold drills at the dollar store...LOL)


11:28 a.m. A disappointed mom on Jellison Road in Columba Falls reported that her son brought home a couple of 13-year-old girls.

2:03 p.m. Three dogs habitually gather at a Marion woman’s house and tear up her yard.

4:02 p.m. An obnoxious drunk in a gray hat was refused second helpings at the food bank.

6:34 p.m. A Kalispell woman claimed that a non-English speaking man called numerous times, after being hung up on numerous times, to discuss computer viruses. When she told him she was calling the police he said, “OK, I’ll call you back tomorrow.”

7:52 p.m. Someone reported that their identity was stolen seven years ago.

8:51 p.m. A young, bearded man with strings hanging off his hat was panhandling and trying to sell movies in front of a store on Third Avenue East North.


2:40 p.m. An unwanted man showed up with a case of beer at a Ranch Lane resident’s house.

9:03 p.m. An intoxicated man from Bigfork reported a possible child abduction he had witnessed earlier that day at the dump. He claimed he saw three children that didn’t look anything like the woman they were with. He also said that he attempted to give the children some Lincoln Logs that he had found while dumpster diving, which angered the woman. He had no other pertinent information.


1:26 p.m. Someone in Columbia Falls successfully broke up a dog fight with a stick.

8:11 p.m. Someone in Whitefish called 911 to report seeing a woman who smelled of alcohol buy more alcohol. The caller didn’t know if the woman had been driving, but assumed so anyway.

9:16 p.m. A man reported that he was hit by a bus last June


9:18 a.m. A Polebridge man reported that a contractor he had hired thumped a tool in his hand then got this look in his eye, like he’d seen “on television dramas before someone is about to hurt the other person.” The man suggested that deputies run a “mental packet” on the contractor, “rattle his cage” and put a spotlight on him.

9:24 a.m. A Hungry Horse resident complained that the neighbors built an offensive, anatomically accurate snowman in their front yard. The snowman has since been modified.

2:22 p.m. The freshman at the Bigfork High School lost his marijuana to the principle after making a failed attempt to take it to school.

9:23 p.m. An angry, intoxicated man calling from Fourth Avenue East reported that the neighbor woman was beating her screaming children so loudly that is was “screwing up” his movie. No beatings actually took place, the kids were just loud.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Lance Lewsader - Super Creep

More from Lance Lewsader (Shellie Ross's brother who apparently thinks it's okay that she abandoned her young children, skipped out on child support for over 12 years and was finally arrested because she owed almost 50,000 to her one of her sons - meanwhile she went on to have 3 other kids and lives in a half million dollar home...) who thinks I'm way worse than Shellie for telling Zach Teegardins story (the son she abandoned, see his interview here). Anyway, Lance set up a blog where he posted total untruths about me. It's actually laughable because he believes he's such a detective but he has no clue what he's talking about. 
Lance was posting and tweeting constantly about me, and was stupid enough to mention he was AT WORK while doing it. A quick call to his company and miraculously, the blog was shut down and he made his Twitter private. I'd been advised to take screen shots and print out everything and give copies to the proper authorities so if there was any trouble, there would be records. And the sheer number of creepy comments he left on my blogs about Shellie that showed just what a wack job he is  - maybe instead of attacking me, he should funnel his energy into convincing Shellie to step up to the plate and take responsibility for ALL her children.   Here is just a snippet of his ramblings:

Thursday, December 15, 2011

More Funny Flathead Beacon Police Reports! #4

More serious crime happening in Flathead Valley Montana...


10:44 p.m. A lumberjack looking man and another man were cut off and kicked out of a bar on Highway 35 in Kalispell. They stood outside the bar and argued until a deputy sent them home.

11:39 p.m. An employee at a Main Street hotel reported that drunken man wearing a “gopher hat” was getting into the complimentary hot chocolate and refusing to leave. 


9:30 a.m. A man on Concord Drive claimed that his wife might call in and say he slammed her hand in the door and that if she does, it’s not true.
2:14 p.m. Two men were harassing each other via Facebook. 


7:28 a.m. A 5-year-old boy wanted to explain that his cat “just ate poop.”

8:58 a.m. A woman on Fifth Avenue East found a note on her door that said “your house has been watched tonight by the creeps.”

12:11 p.m. Reportedly, a woman on Highway 35 in Kalispell called someone a “sourpuss.”

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

It's Cookies n Cream Pretzel Fudge, Bitches!!!

I wish I could take credit for this...but the credit goes to Shugary Sweets - who you should check out if your waistline is brave enough (screw it, it's the holidays, right?)
Cookies 'n Cream Pretzel Fudge Recipe:

2 cup sugar
½ cup milk
½ tsp vanilla extract
½ cup margarine
12 large marshmallows
12 oz milk chocolate morsels
1 oz baking chocolate
24 Oreo cookies, crushed
2 cup pretzels, broken
12 oz vanilla bark, melted
In large saucepan, bring to a boil the sugar, milk, vanilla and margarine. Continue to boil for 2 minutes. Remove from heat and add baking chocolate, milk chocolate and marshamallows. Stir until smooth (several minutes). Fold in ¾ of crushed oreos, and ¾ of broken pretzels.
Pour chocolate mixture into a foil lined jelly roll pan that has been buttered.
Pour melted vanilla bark over chocolate. Sprinkle remaining cookies and pretzels over white chocolate. Refrigerate until set. Cut and enjoy! Store in covered container in refrigerator. Enjoy!

Monday, December 12, 2011

Lance A. Lewsader

Lance A Lewsader works - claims to be Shellie's brother. 

UPDATE: Shellie is still in jail and waiting extradition to Ohio. I'm really hoping Zach and his father get the back child support they are owed and it will be a great Christmas for them.

On Lance - several concerned people have contacted me about his "threats" on his Twitter account @Gdogg007 and the other things he has been saying about me. (A few days after his company was made away that he was tweeting while at work, he made his Twitter account private.)

I appreciate your concern - but it is being handled - I don't respond to him not because  I'm 'afraid' - but because I was advised not to.

For those of you who don't know the story, Lance A. Lewsader claims to be Shellie's brother,( if so, there is yet another secret life Shellie is harboring because no one seems to know anything about her having ANY brothers or sisters) who valiantly tries to defend a mother who abandoned her children and owes 50,000 back child support - this remind me of the sayings:
 Show me who your friends are, and I'll tell you who you are - and - Birds of a feather flock together...

If I should die horribly in a violent accident, please note that Shellie Ross's "brother" posted this on - he goes by the name Lance A. Lewsader and the handle: GDogg007 and works at EMC Corporation in Arkansas (as he mentions in his Linkedin profile AND on his Myspace page and on Google Circles) (this thread was since removed - but I still have all the screen shots - and I mean ALL of them - too numerous to post here)

From his post, I learned that DIAF - means "Die In A Fire."

In a few of the responses he received, someone called "thaorleanyte" suggested DDOS - Dirt Digging - I had no idea what that meant either, but have since been taught it means "denial-of-service attack (DoS attack) or distributed denial-of-service attack (DDoS attack) is an attempt to make a computer resource unavailable to its intended users." Which is a crime. 

And also, just in *case* I do wind up in a horrible accident (or die in a fire) I do have screen shots and copies of what Lance and his  fine upstanding citizens suggested in order to make me 'go away.'

Since it seems Lance can't spell correctly and obviously doesn't comprehend things very well, I'll say this one more time: Shellie was on her cell phone Tweeting when she should have been watching Bryson -that's why he drowned. Then she blamed it on her older son, saying he was supposed to be watching him. Shellie owes back child support - over 50,000 for a son that she abandoned when he was 6 years old, a son that she has completely ignored and not even bothered telling her new husband about. She was arrested because she owes that money. Shellie lives in a half million dollar house (which SHE proudly posted pictures of all over the internet) - yet still refuses to pay her back child support.

 Shellie Ross's "brother" Lance A. Lewsader (GDogg007) wrote this on

"So this chick named Laura Freed in New Jersey can DIAF. She has made it her personal crusade to harass my older sister and make sure her personal life is made as public as humanly possible. Even has gone so far as to post up pictures of her home and the inside of her home. (Be careful when ya list your home if ya ever do. Those pictures don't go away.)

The reason this bitch has done this? Because 2 years ago my nephew drowned in a pool. She was on twitter after it happened asking for family and friends to pray for Bryson. (I see nothing wrong with that.) However this bitch went on Nancy Grace (that bitch can DIAF too) and blasted my sister as irresponsible.

Long long story short Laura Free is a useless wart on the ass of society who needs to die horribly in a violent accident." 

And then one of the replies: 
From gsf1200R

"do I need to drive somewhere and make someone shit their pants again?"

Funny Flathead Beacon Police Reports! #3

More Police Reports From the Flathead Beacon!

On 12/4/2011

12:32 p.m. A man on Wettington Drive thinks that his ex has been creeping around and that his neighbor might allow her to hide at their house.

On 12/6/2011
2:32 p.m. A Columbia Falls man claimed that his ex-girlfriend stole his spare key. She had no problem giving it back.

6:58 p.m. A Hungry Horse woman reported that her unregistered “dropped down low” baby blue pickup truck had been stolen and that it probably didn’t have enough gas in it to make it around the block. Someone else reported that the same woman also lost her 3-year-old child and that she was shooting her “snub-nosed” pistol at someone’s house. The child was found and fine, but the baby blue truck is still missing.

3:01 a.m. A Kalispell woman claimed that her druggy, abusive son came over and stole her dog.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

More Funny Flathead Beacon Police Reports!

From the Flathead Beacon Police Blotter in Montana:


10:33 a.m. A basset hound was spotted moseying down Ezy Road.

3:48 p.m. The owner of a Kalispell store claimed that a man with droopy drawers threatened to hit her if she didn’t “shut up.”

7:53 p.m. The owner of a trailer park on Jellison Road in Columbia Falls reported that an intoxicated man was urinating in the road and driving drunkenly through her park. She wanted to enact a citizen’s arrest. 

7:59 p.m. Reportedly, a weird woman knocked on a Short Court woman’s door and asked if she needed her carpet vacuumed. 

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Funniest Police Blotter Stories EVER! From Flathhead Valley Montana.

Sometimes we dream about moving to a place where there isn't a murder every night and you don't have to worry about Lethal Flash Mobs attacking you in the middle of the day.

Montana has come up a few times - and I've been reading their local weekly newspaper to get an idea of what life in the West is like - and uh - these are directly from the police blotter of Flathead Valley as reported in the Flathead Beacon - these are SERIOUSLY FUNNY (at least to someone like me where murder, rape, and robbery is almost a daily occurrence in Philly). I wouldn't mind living in a place where crimes like these occur:

From the Flathhead Beacon Police Blotter


4:37 p.m. Three destructive canyon kids kicked in a wall at the maze. They were caught and left to the mercy of their parents.

11:28 a.m. Someone saw a man walking through the trees near Bruyer Way Loop dragging a leash with nothing on the end of it.

3:58 p.m. A 15-year-old girl was offended by some lewd comments posted on her Facebook page.

9:21 p.m. An intoxicated Somers man reported that his angry wife literally had him “by the balls” for the second time that evening. He did not need medical assistance and the two were separated for the night.


2:09 p.m. A loose calf tried to make friends with a woman walking down Trumble Creek Road. It was taken home.

8:00 p.m. A woman on Ridgewood Drive reported that her granddaughter’s mother wouldn’t return her cable box.


2:15 p.m. Two men argued loudly about scriptures in an alley near Second Avenue West.

4:19 p.m. A woman on Liberty Street reported that a man threw a pile of dog “doo doo” on her car and told her that she was the rightful owner of the doo.

4:20 p.m. An awkward situation involving a man straddling a woman laying on a sidewalk was witnessed in Evergreen.

7:00 p.m. Reportedly, people have been living in their truck at the Burger King parking lot for the last year. The caller considered allowing them to move into his guest house.

8:35 p.m. Someone from the Whitefish train depot called in to discuss a strange man with a comb-over who was chanting about train safety.


1:29 p.m. A Rottweiler that appeared “bold” and a small white dog were seen running down Foys Lake Road.

5:21 p.m. Someone called in to discuss the person they saw at a hotel on Highway 93 South who may or may not be an officer.


11:37 a.m. A dad on Wyoming Street said a pit bull was circling his children. He yelled at the dog and it ran off.

3:14 p.m. A janitor, who thought he was alone in a Kalispell store, heard strange noises over the intercom.

6:40 p.m. A big dirty truck was seen swerving down Highway 2 West.

10:37 p.m. A Kalispell woman reported that her roommate’s mom stopped by and, for unknown reasons, attacked her. She left shortly after and could most likely be found at Walmart.  (OMG - this is one of the best!!!)


11:59 a.m. A woman from Hungry Horse claimed that her estranged husband went and married another woman.

8:28 p.m. A gas station employee complained that a drunk was tooling around in the bathroom.


9:37 p.m. A small intoxicated man wearing “Nintendo pants” was seen crying in a bar on Highway 35 in Kalispell.


10:32 a.m. A Kalispell resident reported that two happy chocolate labs were in his yard and wouldn’t leave.

11:29 p.m. A woman on Halfmoon Flats near Columbia Falls reported that she had been sitting in her vehicle, afraid to get out, for the last 20 minutes because an unfamiliar dog was lurking around nearby. She decided to make a run for it.

12:25 a.m. A bartender in Martin City asked for assistance with a big, bald man who drunkenly claimed to own the bar and refused to leave. He was napping on the floor when officers arrived. 

5:16 a.m. Two kids were standing on Highway 35 in Kalispell videotaping each other. The caller suspected they were on drugs.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Mint Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Truffles! Best Christmas Cookie EVER!!!


Mint Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Truffles!

You can make these without using the mint and just do regular chocolate chip also.

2 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup (2 sticks) butter or margarine, room temperature
3/4 cup granulated sugar
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 teaspoon of peppermint extract
1/3 cup milk or vanilla soy milk
1 cup mini semi-sweet chocolate chips (OR mini mint chocolate chips)
14 oz white chocolate chips
3/4 cup crushed candy canes
Beat butter and sugars and in large bowl with electric mixer on medium speed until light and fluffy. Add milk vanilla, peppermint. Stir in flour, baking soda and salt and mix on low speed (or by hand) until incorporated. Stir in chocolate chips.
Cover and chill dough for 1 hour.
When dough is firm enough to handle form dough into 1" balls (I use a mini cookie scooper) and arrange on a baking sheet lined with waxed paper. Place sheets in freezer and let chill for 30 minutes.
Melt white chocolate in microwave. Place in bowl and heat for 1 minute 30 seconds, stopping after 60 seconds to stir. After time is up, stir some more until the whole thing is melted.  Using teaspoons , dip cookie balls into candy coating to cover and return to waxed paper-lined baking sheets sprinkle with crushed peppermint candies.  Chill until set. Store, chilled, in an airtight container for up to 1 week. 
These are so fantastic!
I also made a batch using Andes Peppermint Crunch (which I found in Walmart). Instead of the white chocolate, I melted down the Andes Peppermint Crunch and used that. Has that distinctive Andes Candy taste and the coating was a festive Christmas pink! SO GOOD!